Thank you for the article, and this enormously deep thought! For me (and perhaps other women), we have traditionally been put into the 'give first, receive later' martyr stereotype when it comes to being a wife and mother. This can of course be disastrous. Self love needs to come first, before we find a partner. If we can't love ourselves, we can't love another and also, as importantly, make a balanced choices as to a good partner for us! Said by me, divorced twice, late fifties...now a bit wiser.

Thanks Stardust, very kind of you to say so. Yes, and the key is, most people don't even KNOW about loops like this, they are running just outside of conscious awareness, and can cause so much suffering. Healing from narc interaction has to be such a conscious process, or our aura merges again and off we go. I'm hopeful that the parenting loop can be disconnected for me in the next year or two.

All great reminders. Unfortunately, in this lifetime at least, they have no intentions to change. Next lifetime, the karma they create is their monkey, their circus!

Quite right. The reason for their calling, writing or anything else is never about mending the relationship (like a non-narcissistic person would perhaps attempt). It's just another power-over move, to take energy, in some way, some how. It's really sad, but true. I have an ex-partner who's a narc. I put a little note on my phone so that whenever he texts me (we have a child so can't break all contact), I remember, and don't get sucked in. Their auras can be pretty powerful, it's how they 'got' us in the first place!